Alone
by Flameofdeath
Summary: Remus watches Sirius as he falls through the veil...those seconds which seem like eternity... (NOT SLASH) R & R please.


**"Alone"**

_Summary:Remus's POV on the Death in the 5th book  
A/N: Is not meant to be slash... please read and review_

Remus Lupin stood, unable to move in his shock, as Sirius's handsome face was full of surprise. Amidst the laughter of Bellatrix Lestrange, the only thing Remus could take note of was how long it took Sirius to fall.

It was a matter of seconds, really. Probably not even. But it seemed much longer. As Sirius slowly arched backwards, memories flashed in front of his eyes of their childhood. Of when he and James had approached Remus on the train...Sirius suggesting the idea of learning to be Animagi...Turning into that black shaggy dog they all knew and loved for the first time...Hugging them all goodbye after 7th year...Attacking the cake at James's wedding...

He had not hit the veil behind him yet.

Remus gazed at that face one last time before the past, once again, played in his mind. His astonishment at finding out Sirius was innocent...Struggling with his werewolf side, trying not to attack Harry, Ron, and Hermione as a familiar black dog held him back...Seeing that dog playfully wag its tail at his doorstep a year ago...Trying to quiet that damned potrait, with his dark hair flying around...

He fell gracefully through the veil, those playful, helpful, and entertaining dark eyes, dead and lifeless.

Ages seemed to pass before anyone moved. Remus felt tears in his eyes, yet he willed them not to fall. That will grew harder as Sirius disappeared behind the veil. He furrowed his eyebrows, wanting to believe that in a few moments, Sirius would emerge with his classic 'Gotcha!' grin that he had used so many times the last time the Order came together.

But Remus couldn't hide the truth any longer. Tears threatened to spill over, and yet he still held them back. Harry...he had to be strong for Harry...

_Where was Harry?_

Turning around quickly, he saw Harry sprinting toward the dais. His heart pounding with fear, Remus grabbed him and pulled him back. "There's nothing you can do, Harry-" he began, struggling with the harsh reality.

"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!" Harry screamed in desperation.

"It's too late, Harry-" he tried again, not believing his own words. Could Harry be right? Maybe Sirius just went through? God knows it wasn't Sirius's first time pulling a stunt like that...

"We can still reach him-" Harry yelled, kicking and struggling. It took all of Remus's strength to keep the young boy away. The small hope that kindled in his heart was slowly going out. Surely, Sirius would be able to hear Harry if he was alive. Which only brought Remus to the conclusion,

"There's nothing you can do, Harry....nothing....He's gone."

***

Remus shook his head of the memories. It was only hours ago. Only hours ago...he lost his last friend. Why did Sirius have to go? Harry needed Sirius, not him. What purpose did he serve but as a companion to Sirius? The Order could survive without him...oh why did Sirius have to die?

Suddenly the 'whys' flooded his mind. Why did Peter have to betray them? Why did the prophecy have to choose Harry? Why did James and Lily die? Why was Sirius convicted? Why did he have to die? Why couldn't it be Remus? 

_Why was he alone?_

For that was what he was now. Alone. All alone. James and Lily were gone. Peter is as good as gone. Sirius left. This was more cruel than his childhood. At least then, he didn't know what it was to have friends, to have fun, to have no worries... he had his time in heaven and now he was brutally pushed to hell. What did he do to deserve this? 

He felt his tears flooding his eyes. No, he couldn't cry? What would Sirius say? He would most likely frown, then turn back into a dog and pull some stunt that would make Remus cry tears of laughter. James? He would probably join Sirius, or even start a squabble with Sirius or Peter, just so Remus would be so busy playing moderator, that he would have no time to think of his worries. And little Peter? Remus was willing to bet that Peter's first suggestion would be helping him with his homework, to keep him busy. (of course that was Peter's suggestion to everything) Lily? Without a doubt, she would sit him down, and demand that Remus either tell her what's wrong or be hexed.

Now...he had none of that anymore. He was truly, and utterly, alone.

And in the walls of the now gloomy house, he buried his face in his hands and finally cried.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed. Please be nice and review and maybe I'll write more fics! ^_~


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